New Years Resolution: First Post

January 02, 2009.
Long Island, NY
I am in my local library. I am twenty years old and change.
I will be leaving for Shanghai in a month and 3 days.

I am on vacation.
Now I can do all the things I never really get the chance to out there at NYU,
like...not much. yay...

That's not really what I think though. I am glad to be home.
During the school term, you're productive by default.
Just living every day, going to classes and doing your work, you are a "Student."
That is my "Occupation" after all.
But college isn't hard, and it leaves me with lots of time to get depressed about how unfulfilling my social life is. Well, not social life. Sex life. Enough with the euphemisms. In any case, I never decide to sit down and actually read, or write. How can you when you're so lonely it hurts?

Sometimes when I get all depressed and introspective, I pause and laugh at myself,
when was the last time you got all hopelessly introspective when everything in life was wonderful,
when you had a girl and when you had your video games and you had good grades and good friends and no parent issues. Ever whine then?

So maybe the whole existential self-examination is silly and unnecessary, and ultimately unproductive. But I'm curious.

I am twenty years old. I know somethings about myself and somethings about the world. But it is obvious to me that I really don't know either as well as I would like to think.

Curiosity is my driving force.
I believe in knowledge.
I believe in reality. I believe I am here and you are here,
to me I am everything
and to you, you are everything,
and that's okay.

Two consciousnesses floating like fireflies through the infinite expanse of cyberspace.

One reason I write here is so I will know how I viewed the world when I was this age, this place.
Another reason is to force my thoughts to materialize into statements, make them lead somewhere and crystallize,
so that the minute after I write a sentence I agree with I can look at it and wonder what I really mean, what I'm really saying.

Most of all though, I write to "You."
"You" are my public, my audience.
The proof that I was here.

My 3rd grade self already began to doubt if there was anybody out there paying attention to my life.
When I know other people have an image of me,
however blurred by my own bias in telling and your own bias in reading,
I can convince myself at 22,
that myself at 20 was really here, once.

I am on vacation now. I have a lot to say and a lot to do. I am starting this blog now as I prepare for my trip to Shanghai, where my vision of the world will re-define itself yet again. You are all invited with me.

I am not this serious all the time. There will be pictures here, recipes, move reviews, quick thoughts, perhaps the occasional video game screenshot. Life is fun and exploding with excitement. In the words of Bill Watterson:

"There's Treasure Everywhere.
Let's Go Exploring."

Thanks for Reading,
~The Twentysomething