SO
Why has it been so long since your last post?
have your forgotten about your loyal readership?
Of course I havent!
Ive just been so busy making blog-worthy stories
that I havent had the time to tell them!
WELL!
Where to start?
I bought a bicycle for 150RMB (=20 bucks)...
Traffic laws are almost nonexistent in this country, and anyone can cut off anyone at any time,
regardless of lights or lines or one-way signs,
ANYWAY there are tons of bicycles out and about, old women and young men and people in suits and everyone... SO
I was going up onto a highway when my bike's chain broke and I almost spilled right in front of a bus.
YAY!!!
So I walked my now useless bike back to the store where I was able to argue in chinese until they fixed it. I made it halfway home before my right pedal fell off. Back to the store.
A week later I was brave enough to take my bike out for a spin one more time...this time the chain broke as I was pulling out of my Uni...they laughed at me when I went back to the store, but I still argued a brand new chain out of them (since I purposely broke the old chain extra badly so they couldnt try to fix it.)
GOOD TIMES!!
Bikes get stolen extremely often here,
but I wouldnt wish this one on my worst enemy. Pic coming soon.
Now I'm going to go have dinner with this chinese girl I met at a club Friday. I'm treating her to KFC, which is a very acceptable date restaurant here in china.... Soooooo more news later!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
POLL RESULTS
So it seems like our readership is evenly split between the
passive-aggressive and the self-delusional.
I voted delusional myself.
Convincing yourself your happy is definitely the easiest way to go about things.
You just gotta mean it.
passive-aggressive and the self-delusional.
I voted delusional myself.
Convincing yourself your happy is definitely the easiest way to go about things.
You just gotta mean it.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Doodles from class
Well classes have begun.
I've started drawing again.
Here are my latest doodles.
This is what I learned today in Intro to Marketing
And this is what I learned today in Intro to Global Negotiations.
Stern Classes are retarded.
And this is a dream I had where I'm in an aquarium and Chinese people came to watch me.
In other news:
Batman the animated Series is currently blowing my mind.
Its been a while since I've purposely held off on watching episodes
for the first time
just to savor the awesomeness of a series.
And may have found a nice girl who likes me too.
Time will tell...
I've started drawing again.
Here are my latest doodles.
This is what I learned today in Intro to Marketing
And this is what I learned today in Intro to Global Negotiations.Stern Classes are retarded.
And this is a dream I had where I'm in an aquarium and Chinese people came to watch me.In other news:
Batman the animated Series is currently blowing my mind.
Its been a while since I've purposely held off on watching episodes
for the first time
just to savor the awesomeness of a series.
And may have found a nice girl who likes me too.
Time will tell...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
TWO POSTS IN TWO DAYS?!!? CRAZY!!!
So I'm drunk,
and its 3 am shanghai time.
I just got back from a club.
I. Hate. Clubs.
They're like every bar mitzvah I never enjoyed.
Why can't one person go up to another in the street and say
"hey, you're cute, and if you're interested I would like to have sex with you."
What would be so wrong with that?
Instead, we have a multi-billion dollar a year industry called "clubbing"
which involves very loud, bad music, seizure inducing colored light craziness,
and evil sex dancing
which isn't dancing,
and isn't sex.
Fuck. that. Shit.
I just got back from a club.
A girl I thought was way into me but wasn't that pretty,
but was cute, and tres cool, and I was worried I'd hook up with,
turns out to be a full-fledged lesbian,
complete with long distance gal-friend.
I danced with some girl from my progrm who lives in off campus housing,
who we on-campusers dont see that often,
but she seemed a little too interested in taking those crazy
ridiculous
self-held digital camera photos,
and I just didn't have the energy to invest in
2 more hours dancing to maybe get a number,
maybe get invited back to her place,
so I said I'd be right back and
never was.
Then when I came back to see if maybe it wasn't so bad this time,
I was hailed by this group of too good to be true
gorgeous brasilian women.
They were really, really, beautiful,
very tan with very blue eyes.
Within 40 seconds of sitting down,
one of them put my hand on another one's breast.
They both looked at me.
The one I was sitting next to started making out with me,
and then squeezed my crotch.
So we were all making out, and I was getting felt up.
And thought, drunk as I was: This cannot be real.
So then we start making out.
"What are you doing here in Shanghai?"
"I'm a student at __University! What are you doing here?"
"I'm an escort."
"...oh.......uh...I'm a student, I have no money." and I make to get up.
She holds me down literally by my crotch,
makes out with me,
and says
" you dont need money to have a girl"
Maybe she was not lying,
maybe I could have just gone with the flow,
and made it happen tonight.
Instead, I went home.
Right? Wrong?
I dont think I'll ever know.
and its 3 am shanghai time.
I just got back from a club.
I. Hate. Clubs.
They're like every bar mitzvah I never enjoyed.
Why can't one person go up to another in the street and say
"hey, you're cute, and if you're interested I would like to have sex with you."
What would be so wrong with that?
Instead, we have a multi-billion dollar a year industry called "clubbing"
which involves very loud, bad music, seizure inducing colored light craziness,
and evil sex dancing
which isn't dancing,
and isn't sex.
Fuck. that. Shit.
I just got back from a club.
A girl I thought was way into me but wasn't that pretty,
but was cute, and tres cool, and I was worried I'd hook up with,
turns out to be a full-fledged lesbian,
complete with long distance gal-friend.
I danced with some girl from my progrm who lives in off campus housing,
who we on-campusers dont see that often,
but she seemed a little too interested in taking those crazy
ridiculous
self-held digital camera photos,
and I just didn't have the energy to invest in
2 more hours dancing to maybe get a number,
maybe get invited back to her place,
so I said I'd be right back and
never was.
Then when I came back to see if maybe it wasn't so bad this time,
I was hailed by this group of too good to be true
gorgeous brasilian women.
They were really, really, beautiful,
very tan with very blue eyes.
Within 40 seconds of sitting down,
one of them put my hand on another one's breast.
They both looked at me.
The one I was sitting next to started making out with me,
and then squeezed my crotch.
So we were all making out, and I was getting felt up.
And thought, drunk as I was: This cannot be real.
So then we start making out.
"What are you doing here in Shanghai?"
"I'm a student at __University! What are you doing here?"
"I'm an escort."
"...oh.......uh...I'm a student, I have no money." and I make to get up.
She holds me down literally by my crotch,
makes out with me,
and says
" you dont need money to have a girl"
Maybe she was not lying,
maybe I could have just gone with the flow,
and made it happen tonight.
Instead, I went home.
Right? Wrong?
I dont think I'll ever know.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Orient-ation Week
Howdy!
Been a busy bee lately.
I've also lost weight, though I'm trying to make it back in beer.
I just can't eat a healthy portion of the local cuisine before a persistent queasiness forces me to stop. Blech. I've eaten two KFC Fish sandwiches out of sheer desperation. Blech.
The other day I ate two lamb skewers off the street behind my Uni.
They cost about 14 cents each. Stupid? Yes. Desperate? Yes.
Didn't get sick! Well look at that.
Dorms are nice,
people are nice. 89% of the program I'm on is Asian.
70 out of 107 kids are from Stern...
Surprisingly, nobody seems too icky.
Unfortunately, there is only ONE very pretty lady in the program,
though I'm sure there are a bunch of pretty local students at our host Uni,
once classes start and they all come back to school after the Chinese New Year celebrations.
Will keep ya'll posted RE: the ONE.
I have friends in China. Yay.
The schools been taking us around incessantly, but I do have some way wicked pictures, and HERE THEY ARE!!!!
That's Chairman Mao, who chills in the center of campus.
There's a lawn in front of him where only the Americans ever play ball,
cause everyone else is scared of him.
The school took us to the Aquarium, and this was there.
Fossils are awesome.
We visited a temple today.
Not only does this dude have a bad-ass beard,
He's also one of the characters in Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
It is the year of the Ox, so these were all over the temple in celebration.
This is one example of why I can't eat anything here,
Kosher or no Kosher.
Look! A new Poll! Top Right! Take it!
Until next Time!
Been a busy bee lately.
I've also lost weight, though I'm trying to make it back in beer.
I just can't eat a healthy portion of the local cuisine before a persistent queasiness forces me to stop. Blech. I've eaten two KFC Fish sandwiches out of sheer desperation. Blech.
The other day I ate two lamb skewers off the street behind my Uni.
They cost about 14 cents each. Stupid? Yes. Desperate? Yes.
Didn't get sick! Well look at that.
Dorms are nice,
people are nice. 89% of the program I'm on is Asian.
70 out of 107 kids are from Stern...
Surprisingly, nobody seems too icky.
Unfortunately, there is only ONE very pretty lady in the program,
though I'm sure there are a bunch of pretty local students at our host Uni,
once classes start and they all come back to school after the Chinese New Year celebrations.
Will keep ya'll posted RE: the ONE.
I have friends in China. Yay.
The schools been taking us around incessantly, but I do have some way wicked pictures, and HERE THEY ARE!!!!
That's Chairman Mao, who chills in the center of campus.
There's a lawn in front of him where only the Americans ever play ball,
cause everyone else is scared of him.
The school took us to the Aquarium, and this was there.Fossils are awesome.
We visited a temple today.Not only does this dude have a bad-ass beard,
He's also one of the characters in Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
It is the year of the Ox, so these were all over the temple in celebration.This is one example of why I can't eat anything here,
Kosher or no Kosher.
Look! A new Poll! Top Right! Take it!
Until next Time!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
China Pictures
I met a bunch of expats at the Shanghai Chabad.
No, no Chinese Jews. Just Expats,
but very friendly.
One dude, Irving,
who, surprisingly, is NOT a 45 year old balding accountant,
invited me to his friend's apartment nearby,
where we drank and drank.
a 40 oz. bottle of Budweiser cost me 50 cents.
a 20 minute cab cost me all of $3
True stories.
Then we went clubbing. Which was lame.
I'm also slowly starving to death,
since all the food here is like...crazy.
just....you know, maybe Ill put some pics of dishes up here.
I know how to say "vegetable dumplings"
but unfortunately,
nobody has any.
I got excited when I saw some sushi at a store but,
silly me,
it was crab and ham sushi!
YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
no. so I had a salad, and ate it in a nearby park while listening to OK Computer.
And got stared at. Shamelessly. By everyone.
Can't really pretend I didn't like the attention.
And here are some pictures, finally.
I didn't ask for the twisty straw.
The chinese reads: People are really smelly.
Nah. I have no freaking clue what it says...
and here is the view from my 21st fl hotel balcony:
I believe the Weather Report was "Mostly Smoggy"
No, no Chinese Jews. Just Expats,
but very friendly.
One dude, Irving,
who, surprisingly, is NOT a 45 year old balding accountant,
invited me to his friend's apartment nearby,
where we drank and drank.
a 40 oz. bottle of Budweiser cost me 50 cents.
a 20 minute cab cost me all of $3
True stories.
Then we went clubbing. Which was lame.
I'm also slowly starving to death,
since all the food here is like...crazy.
just....you know, maybe Ill put some pics of dishes up here.
I know how to say "vegetable dumplings"
but unfortunately,
nobody has any.
I got excited when I saw some sushi at a store but,
silly me,
it was crab and ham sushi!
YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
no. so I had a salad, and ate it in a nearby park while listening to OK Computer.
And got stared at. Shamelessly. By everyone.
Can't really pretend I didn't like the attention.
And here are some pictures, finally.
I didn't ask for the twisty straw.The chinese reads: People are really smelly.
Nah. I have no freaking clue what it says...
and here is the view from my 21st fl hotel balcony:
I believe the Weather Report was "Mostly Smoggy"
Friday, February 6, 2009
What does "Masseuse" mean to you?
Me (12:34:17 AM) : when I got back drunk last night the hotel called my room (CALLED!! at 430AM!) and offered me a "masseuse" for 100 US dollars
Me (12:34:29 AM) : it was so ridiculous
Me (12:34:39 AM) : I laughed out loud
Me (12:34:47 AM) : so thats the price
Me (12:34:50 AM) : 100 US and Im laid
Me(12:34:52 AM) : ahahaha
A Friend (12:35:03 AM) : the hotel does that?
A Friend (12:35:03 AM) : wtf
Me (12:35:09 AM) : yeah
Me (12:35:11 AM) : the HOTEL
Me (12:35:12 AM) : 5 star
Me (12:35:14 AM) : right
Me (12:35:16 AM) : jesus
Me (12:35:18 AM) : jesusjesus
Me (12:35:25 AM) : what a country
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Welcome To China!
The only other white guy on my flight was sitting in front of me,
and we exchanged ripped movies off our hard drives and discussed recent comic book films.
Good way to pass the time.
It did not take me very long to get ripped off for the first time.
When I landed after a 15 hour flight (West and North, over the North Pole. I flew over Siberia!)
and changed some money, some middle aged woman asked:
"Tah-Shee?"
So I said yes, at which point I had to follow her
in the complete opposite direction of the Taxi sign I'd seen.
I was a bit suspicious but too tired to care,
though there is always the fear of being totally fucked over
and having my luggage stolen at gunpoint when I get into the car.
After a long and sketchy walk we got outside and an old red jalopy picked us up,
and the woman was looking around constantly, very nervous.
She rushed me into the car and we were off.
I'm pretty sure what they did was illegal, since they weren't a real taxi-cab,
which are heavily regulated by the state.
Since there was no meter and I only had a rough idea what it should cost,
I got very ripped off (I found out after the fact).
I am having trouble uploading the movie I took in the car, hopefully all internet in China isn't this bad.
~The Twenty Something
and we exchanged ripped movies off our hard drives and discussed recent comic book films.
Good way to pass the time.
It did not take me very long to get ripped off for the first time.
When I landed after a 15 hour flight (West and North, over the North Pole. I flew over Siberia!)
and changed some money, some middle aged woman asked:
"Tah-Shee?"
So I said yes, at which point I had to follow her
in the complete opposite direction of the Taxi sign I'd seen.
I was a bit suspicious but too tired to care,
though there is always the fear of being totally fucked over
and having my luggage stolen at gunpoint when I get into the car.
After a long and sketchy walk we got outside and an old red jalopy picked us up,
and the woman was looking around constantly, very nervous.
She rushed me into the car and we were off.
I'm pretty sure what they did was illegal, since they weren't a real taxi-cab,
which are heavily regulated by the state.
Since there was no meter and I only had a rough idea what it should cost,
I got very ripped off (I found out after the fact).
I am having trouble uploading the movie I took in the car, hopefully all internet in China isn't this bad.
~The Twenty Something
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Travel Blog China: GO!
This is Shanghai.Tomorrow Evening I am getting on a plane,
and will see this out my window by early Friday morning.
I am in Shanghai technically to study and be all awesome future ambition man.
But the grades are supposed to be easy,
everything is ridiculously cheap,
and you get attention just for being white.
So I get the inkling that I'll be having crazy adventures.
And since the chance to re-live them is a quarter the reason you had them in the first place,
I've decided to record my thoughts and impressions of my adventure abroad.
Also I just listed "Travel Blogging" as a hobby on a scholarship app,
so I think I'm morally bound to blog now anyway...
And it'd be the coolest thing to have a personal peanut gallery,
so comments are very welcome.
Hope you enjoy it!
~A Twentysomething
STONER MONOLOGUES CH. 2
The Stoner Monologues Ch.2
Nature in My Own Backyard:
This is the view from a footbridge where I smoke all the time with the ducks.
I just watch them, they don't care about me.
Every now and then one of them quacks, but in vibrato
a drawn out quack-quack-quaaaaaaack
It always reminds me of someone laughing.
So the ducks are having a good time too.
The bottom picture is a drawing I did from memory at home of the mental snapshot I had meant to take. Clearly, 10 megapixel cameras have the advantage.
Why go to the wild?
Well I just saw Into the Wild which,
despite its horrid length and unbearably Vedder soundtrack,
had an affect on me.
The beautiful nature shown in the movie is inspirational,
set so closely to contrast with man's
individual struggle for survival.
Helps you feel how you were made.
Viewing the behavior of modern humans
can be much more meaningful if one remembers
how we are all hard-wired,
what evolution has taught us over the years.
Our own psychology.
I got to China on Wednesday!
~the Twentysomething
Nature in My Own Backyard:
This is the view from a footbridge where I smoke all the time with the ducks.
I just watch them, they don't care about me.
Every now and then one of them quacks, but in vibrato
a drawn out quack-quack-quaaaaaaack
It always reminds me of someone laughing.
So the ducks are having a good time too.
The bottom picture is a drawing I did from memory at home of the mental snapshot I had meant to take. Clearly, 10 megapixel cameras have the advantage.Why go to the wild?
Well I just saw Into the Wild which,
despite its horrid length and unbearably Vedder soundtrack,
had an affect on me.
The beautiful nature shown in the movie is inspirational,
set so closely to contrast with man's
individual struggle for survival.
Helps you feel how you were made.
Viewing the behavior of modern humans
can be much more meaningful if one remembers
how we are all hard-wired,
what evolution has taught us over the years.
Our own psychology.
I got to China on Wednesday!
~the Twentysomething
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